“Come on, people, how about a little something for the effort here? This pose ain’t gonna hold itself.” 

—Farley’s, Potrero Hill


“Yeah, I know, cone of shame. But the tan I’m gonna get from this thing is gonna be SICK!” 



“I’m Mr. Newman, and I’m waiting for Godot. What, you think I’m not good enough for a literary reference?” 

—Caffe Trieste, North Beach

“Oh, dear. I feel like I’m starring in Bringing Up Baby—except, wait, I’m not getting paid. Sigh.” 

—Hayes Valley

“Yeah, I’m having one of those days. There’s nothing to see here; move on.”  

Big dog: “Puggles, you have really bad breath.”

Little dog: “For Pete’s sake, put your tongue back in your mouth. This picture is going to be on The Bold Italic.”  

—Western Addition


“Gimme a kiss! No, I’m not a vampire. Just lean to the left.”


“Salt, sweat and skin oil. My favorite! I’ve got this guy wrapped around my finger—er, paw.”

—The Castro